Dear Borderline Personality Disorder,
You are always with me. That loud voice crying for relief. Crying out for me to cut myself. And, even sometimes, kill myself. I used to think you’d diminish with time. That over time, you would quiet. But the truth is, if I simply let you lie dormant, your voice doesn’t diminish – it gets louder. And my anxiety soars. And my depression grows deeper. And soon an anguish to hurt myself becomes an unquenchable addiction that takes over my whole life. And so, I’ve discovered, if I want to live, I have to fight for it with all I’ve got. I have to examine my thoughts and rewrite the truth. I have to take all my medicine. I have to journal my days so I can see where I am sabotaging myself. I have to have accountability. I have to have encouragement and friendship to spur me on. I have to actively work my Celebrate Recovery Program. I have to work my hardest for my counselor. And pray. Pray for God’s direction. His deliverance.
Child of God