I appreciate the days that are good. So very good. My mind and spirit are calm and reasonable. That deep ache inside my gut fades into the background instead of pounding me to a pulp. I have to remember these days when you press on me hard and long. If there were no hope, there would be no reason to keep fighting you. But there is hope. God gives me hope. Even if He doesn’t fully restore me, He can walk me through your storm. And eventually, even if it is heaven, I WILL have victory.
Child of God
Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.” But you, LORD, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. I call out to the LORD, and he answers me from his holy mountain. I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the LORD sustains me. I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side.
Sometimes your darkness swallows me and then gnaws at the core of my soul. It hurts so deep and so hard. Unbearable. A consuming fire. Your flames surround me. You trap me, screaming at me that I am not worth it. But that is where your power ends. Because I know what God says about my worth. You can set my emotions ablaze. And rip my heart right out of my chest. But as long as I know you lie, I win. I know that God is unchanging. And I know His love for me remains constant. I know I am His chosen. So, keep raging with in me. Go right ahead. You won’t keep me down. I have God on my side. You WILL still lose this battle.
Child of God
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-7
Dear Child of God,
I cover you in ashes and darkness and whisper hopelessness into your life. But it’s lies. And deception is the only power I have over you. But, your God is greater. Your God is stronger. Just focus your eyes on Him through it all . Through the darkness. Through the ashes that cling to you. Through the emotions of hopelessness. And when you emerge on the other side, you will clearly see fingerprints of God woven through your struggle. And where you thought you were covered in ashes and darkness, you will finally see God’s light shining through every crevice…. lighting your way as you struggled your way out of your darkness and shame and into the very arms of your Heavenly Father.
To grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.