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Child of Mine,

I see the hurt in your eyes. The heartache that saturated your soul. That depressive blanket of darkness tries to smother you But I am stronger than anything this world plants in your heart. In my hands, I mold your heart. I forgive your wrongs. And I give you pure joy.

Love,

Your Father

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“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” ~ Song of Soloman 8:3

 

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Love.  That’s all I want.   I know I am loved by family.  And my forever family at Celebrate Recovery.  But I am so numb from a few decades of self bashing that I can’t feel from anyone else what I despise in myself..  My brain is so crowded with ‘I hate myself,’ I’m worthless,’ ‘I’m hopeless,’ “l am ashamed to be me’ ………… that I don’t have room to hear an “I love you” or believe that a friend truly wants to spend the afternoon with me.

But I don’t have stay in this place.  God is at work and I trust He will continue to shower me with love, and one day soon, this complacent numbness will wane away into a beatiful sunrise in which I can feel the love God has saturated me with all along.

 

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