There are some days that you torture me so much that I am ready to tear my insides out. The emptiness and loneliness inside me becomes an all consuming fire. And that’s when I know that I need to check back into reality. I know, for a fact, that God has put people in my life who pour out His love me to me. And, most importantly, God chose me. I wasn’t an accident. He hasn’t forgotten me. And He hasn’t discarded me. No, the truth is, He chose me. I am precious in His eyes. Loved.
Child of God
But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God’s OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; 1 Peter 2:9
Sometimes your darkness swallows me and then gnaws at the core of my soul. It hurts so deep and so hard. Unbearable. A consuming fire. Your flames surround me. You trap me, screaming at me that I am not worth it. But that is where your power ends. Because I know what God says about my worth. You can set my emotions ablaze. And rip my heart right out of my chest. But as long as I know you lie, I win. I know that God is unchanging. And I know His love for me remains constant. I know I am His chosen. So, keep raging with in me. Go right ahead. You won’t keep me down. I have God on my side. You WILL still lose this battle.
Child of God
Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows. Luke 12:6-7
Dear child of God,
I know this is a hard day for you. You miss your Dad. Like Crazy. And Father’s Day brings exposes a lot of raw grief. And I will take advantage of you when you are so vulnerable. You wish you had one last hug, you replay the moments that he was coherent and responded with the determination that he always had. You have a thousand “what ifs.” But right here, child of God, is where you make your choice. You can recall these moments with bitterness and believe that God was cruel. Or you can see God’s light shining through those last moments – even when your heart was so astray and hurting. You can choose to keep your eyes upon Jesus. And trust that He is good and perfect. And choose to rejoice that your dad is not in the darkness of this world but in the perfect light that Jesus shines upon him.
So, dear child, this may be a difficult day. But don’t let me rob you of the joy you can feel looking back upon his life. You can choose to rejoice.
God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all.
1 John 1:5
Dear Child of God,
I watch you seek help in all the wrong places. And I know that as long as you refuse to wholly give your burden over to Jesus – you will never step out of the hurt. And into life….. your life as God has always intended for you. I encourage you to pull away from others and further into darkness. I lie to you and tell you that you are not relying on God when you allow others into the tough, dark places. But, God doesn’t want you in isolation. In fact, God chooses to work through people. He beautifully orchestrates your life with others’ to glorify Himself through your healing. He WILL bring wholeness in your life. Just keep your eyes on Him and I will not be able to destroy you.
I love the Lord, for He heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because He turned my ear to me, I will call on Him as long as I live. Psalm 116:1-2
Dear Child of God,
I cover your heart in shame. Your life in shame. Your very existence in shame. It seeps and oozes out of your every thought and word. That shame suffocates you as it covers you in that bleak darkness that envelops you wholly. Because of my lies, you truly believe there is something so very wrong inside of you. It’s as if people can see through you into the darkest parts. Where you hurt the most. Fear surrounds you. But, dear child, you don’t have to hurt. You don’t have to drown in your fear. And live your life in shame. Instead, trust in God to take away that judgement, that condemnation. It might not even feel true. Yes, the truth is going to feel like a lie. Simply because I have spent so much of your life whispering rejection, shame, and fear. But, ultimately, I don’t have power over you. You can be liberated from my control. You don’t have to feel it, but you can KNOW this to be true…….. In His perfect love, God has rescued you from your shame. You are free.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.. Romans 8:1