Letters to Anxiety

But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so you can endure it. 

Dear Anxiety,

I thought I had you under control.  But you slither out from under me and attack me with all your might.  Late at night, my insides are lit on fire….. my body hurts inside.  My extremities are tingling or numb.  I can hardly breathe.  My blood pressure shoots up.  And let’s face it, you practically take over my mind.  I hate myself.  I am lonely.  No one cares.  I say stupid things.  I can’t believe I did that.  I’d be better off dead.  I press against my head hoping the spinning will stop.  But it doesn’t.  I am a horrible mother and wife. There is nothing I can do.  I am so tired hallucinations surround me. And I have this fear that one is lurking behind me.  My head is going to explode.  I hate this.  Others hate me.  I am so hard to be around.  I can’t keep up with anything.  Every positive thought I’ve learned is a lie.  This is who I really am.  I hate it.  I hate me.  

You hurt me more than any other.  You attack me long and hard.  And, honestly, it’s so hard to keep faith that God will rescue me in these moments.  But I know He will.   He gives me the power to make it through the hard times.

He always has a way out.

With bitterness,

Child of God

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out s you can endure it. 

1 Corinthians 10:13


Letters from Depression

I have Loved You with an Everlasting Love

Dear Child of God,

 I hate you.  It’s simple.  I want you dead.  If not physically, spiritually.  It all started with a little lie I whisper in your ear each morning, “I hate myself.”   You consider it your own voice but it’s not.  It’s mine.  But soon that whisper became a blaring siren that you awoke to each morning.  As your body and mind fell further and further into sickness possessed by anxiety that throbbed through your entire body and robbed you of all your peace and rational thinking, you began to act upon that loathing hate of yourself.   At first it was just a little cut.  But soon, it numbed your deep, deep pain.  And you would cut and slice and slit until a towel was soaked in blood.  Simply because I lied to you.  And you believed you were worthless and deserved to die.   I hide the truth in your emotional pain.  I don’t want you to know that God loves you with an everlasting love.  I  tell you that His love excludes you because you have fallen into such a deep, deep abyss.  But that not true.  He loves you.  He picks up the broken, bleeding, painful pieces.  And  because He is so gentle,  He whispers to you, “I have loved you with an everlasting love,” and He loves you into His gentle, sweet wholeness that only He could bring.




The Lord appeared to me in the past saying, “I have loved you with an everlasting love.  I have drawn you with loving kindness…..  Jeremiah 31:3