I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

Dear Child of God,

    I put that suffocating shame and suffering in your soul.  You want nothing more to be free from your own self.  I overwhelm you.  Sometimes it’s grief.  Sometimes it’s rejection.  And sometimes I give you no reason for the burden that lays so heavily on your chest.  And for a time, I overpower you.  I relentlessly put the obsession in your mind to cut.  Just to end the searing emotional pain.  And I win you over.  You argue with me.  But in the end, I win.   And then, you regret the mark of pain .  And yet, at the same time, the physical pain was such a relief from the condemning hurt that usually tears throughout your body.  I whisper hate into your heart for what you do that you do not even desire to do.  And that hate turns to shame.  But I am a liar.  God does not condemn you.  Not even when you make the wrong choice.  And He also gives you freedom.  Freedom to change.  You CAN do the next right thing and let God change you from the inside out.  He CAN deliver you.

                     Sincerely

                              Depression

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.                                                                                                                                                  Romans 7:15

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.   Psalm 107:6