Dear child of God,
I know this is a hard day for you. You miss your Dad. Like Crazy. And Father’s Day brings exposes a lot of raw grief. And I will take advantage of you when you are so vulnerable. You wish you had one last hug, you replay the moments that he was coherent and responded with the determination that he always had. You have a thousand “what ifs.” But right here, child of God, is where you make your choice. You can recall these moments with bitterness and believe that God was cruel. Or you can see God’s light shining through those last moments – even when your heart was so astray and hurting. You can choose to keep your eyes upon Jesus. And trust that He is good and perfect. And choose to rejoice that your dad is not in the darkness of this world but in the perfect light that Jesus shines upon him.
So, dear child, this may be a difficult day. But don’t let me rob you of the joy you can feel looking back upon his life. You can choose to rejoice.
God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all.
1 John 1:5
I hate you. You really suck the life out of me. Period. You sneak up on me and send my brain spiraling out of control. You consume me and I hate it…. a lot.
But that’s where your control stops.
Jesus is my deliverer. So, even though you think you are winning, you are not. Because no matter how defeated I feel, God is still working in me and through me. That may be the only reason I keep holding on.
And even if I can’t make it anymore – you have still lost. Because this was never my battle to fight. God fights for me.
And He ALWAYS wins.
Child of God
Do Not be Afraid or Discouraged….. for the Battle is not yours, but God’s. 2 Chronicles 20:15 NIV
Dear Child of God,
When I find you crying, sobbing and alone, I smile. Especially when you dry your tears, put on a strong countenance, hide the emptiness inside…… and act as though you are perfectly healthy and strong. I smile because I know as long as you pretend to be strong, it’s a lie, and that lie isolates you. And you were not created to be hurting alone. But when you finally allow yourself to be vulnerable, I cringe. Because I know how God works. Transparency eventually finds healing as you as reach out and your shame dissipates a little at a time. You will see all the hurting around you. And your heart will be softened and encouraged as you let others into your story. Into the raw places of your soul. Your tears are no longer alone. The aching in your heart, the emptiness, the shame – it’s shared. And when it’s shared, you WILL overcome. God will heal your breaking heart. And your story, well, it’s no longer in vain. The shattered, broken pieces of your life are restored, in the glorious light, to life.
Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2
Dear Child of God,
I swallow you whole. And I convince you that this is forever. You feel so overwhelmed and ashamed that you don’t know if you can go on one more moment. You take a knife into the bathroom. That fire lit inside of you – it drives you to do things you would ordinarily not choose. You begin to take that knife and cut into your arm. But before you complete the task before you, you listen to that still small voice inside. This time it is not me. This is the voice of God asking you to stop. Because you, dear child, still have so much life before you. If you let God carry you through and be patient with the process, you won’t regret it. God will bless you so abundantly throughout, but especially, on the other side of this storm. I want you to keep your eyes fixed on your pain and hurt. But don’t do it. Keep your eyes fixed on God. Let others hold you up. And then, one day, when you have made it through, you will see the abundant blessings that God has lavished upon you.
I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten. Joel 2:25
Dear Child of God,
I don’t want you to make it through even one more day. Or even one moment. I want you defeated. I plan on robbing you of joy so that you will end your life. But I have to admit, you are stronger than I first thought. I have whispered lie after lie. Until you dread life itself. You hurt so much. You are empty. You’ve even given up. But still, you keep returning to God even though I have convinced you that He is not there. My bleak darkness engulfs your mind, your heart – and clouds your vision. You see what’s not there. And you cannot see the good that God wraps you in. But deep in your soul, you know. You know He is there. Dear Child, God has never left you. You have to hold onto what you know to be true. Hold onto God’s goodness, His grace, His love. Even if I suffocate you, keep walking in faith. Keep holding onto truth. Because as long as I can lie to you, and convince you that your faith is obsolete, I will keep attacking you. I will never leave you alone. Never. But what I don’t want to you to see is that God will also never leave you alone. He will sustain you though. He will carry you at times. Just keep walking in faith.
For we walk by faith, not by sight 2 Corinthians 5:7