I thought I had you under control. But you slither out from under me and attack me with all your might. Late at night, my insides are lit on fire….. my body hurts inside. My extremities are tingling or numb. I can hardly breathe. My blood pressure shoots up. And let’s face it, you practically take over my mind. I hate myself. I am lonely. No one cares. I say stupid things. I can’t believe I did that. I’d be better off dead. I press against my head hoping the spinning will stop. But it doesn’t. I am a horrible mother and wife. There is nothing I can do. I am so tired hallucinations surround me. And I have this fear that one is lurking behind me. My head is going to explode. I hate this. Others hate me. I am so hard to be around. I can’t keep up with anything. Every positive thought I’ve learned is a lie. This is who I really am. I hate it. I hate me.
You hurt me more than any other. You attack me long and hard. And, honestly, it’s so hard to keep faith that God will rescue me in these moments. But I know He will. He gives me the power to make it through the hard times.
He always has a way out.
Child of God
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out s you can endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:13